Within Darkness
by Mononoke-hime x sukai kurora
Summary: Lt. Catherine Rollins of the U.S. Navy has been kept in the dark about Wo Fat. Steve has been avoiding her questions and lying to her. After 2.23, will she get the truth from him?


_Within_ _Darkness_

Lt. Catherine Rollins had been kept in the dark. She knew that Steve had lied to her many times over. He kept the truth from her. Catherine sighed deeply and closed her eyes. Since his release from prison and Governor Jameson's death, Steve had been avoiding her questions about his search for Wo Fat. Their conversations were brief when they could have them, and Catherine could sense a fresh anxiety within him. It was similar to when Steve was a Navy SEAL, only this time, he kept it locked inside him. Catherine knew that Steve had trusting issues which rooted from his mother's death and his father sending him away. This time around he seemed to trust no one – except his team, Five-0. He seemed to not trust his former training officer, Joe White, either. Catherine knew something was wrong in his eyes when she told him in October that Joe White had not submitted his inquires about Shelburne. She wondered who this Shelburne was, and why Steve was hiding the truth from her.

Catherine only found out about Joe White's discharge from the Navy from Naval Intelligence. It was rumored that he commanded SEAL team nine to rescue one of his men in North Korea. Catherine knew – from her history with Steve – that Joe would only risk his career for him, his surrogate son. The sailors had asked her if she knew anything about Lt. Commander McGarrett, but she knew as much as they did. When she was on leave and they were intimate four months later, Steve's hands seemed to linger in guilt as he stroked the corners of her body, and seemed much more gentle. He had also tensed slightly when she caught sight of his fading bruises on his chest and abdomen. Catherine recalled how Steve's eyes had watched her face, as if waiting for an extreme reaction. She had gently touched a bruise on his abdomen, exploring it with her fingers. _"Do you want to tell me about it, Commander?"_ Steve had shaken his head slightly, his beautiful blue eyes troubled. _"How about later?" _He had asked that while kissing her neck with the husky voice that had always aroused her. During the invitation to Governor Denning's fundraiser, she had wanted to ask him about it, but she hadn't had the chance.

_"Why don't you trust me?" She reheard her voice, sharp with accusation, as he called her for the first time in months. Steve had been avoiding her calls for the past couple of weeks, and had dodged her questions. She could easily imagine his expression, confusion clouding his eyes and his jaw becoming a hard line. Catherine remembered how Steve didn't respond at first, silence echoing her words. "Why do you keep me in the dark, Steve? I want to know why."_

_ "I want…" his voice sounded raw with pain and exhaustion. Catherine heard his sigh, sharp with grief and emotional exhaustion. "I want to protect you, Cath."_

_ "Steve," Catherine measured her words carefully and channeled her emotions as he had taught her. "You don't need to protect me. You didn't _need _to protect me. Wo Fat is in prison now, you told me that during the first couple minutes of our conversation."_

_ "There are things that I don't want you to know. Wo Fat may be in prison, but he still has associates." Steve's voice seemed more stable now. His voice didn't shake. "He may use the knowledge that you have against you, as he did with me. You may die because of me, Cath."_

_ Catherine didn't respond at first. She could hear Steve measure his words carefully, as she did. However, she could tell that he was lying. Hot anger pulsed through her. He had never done this before. "You're lying to me. Why are you hiding the truth from me? Do not trust me?"_

_ "No!" Now Steve shouted. His voice vibrated through Catherine's ears. "I do trust you! I just want to protect you!" All she heard for a minute was his ragged breathing. "I didn't tell Danny or my team certain information either. They only know certain things because they were there when it happened!" He fell silent again, and Catherine resisted the urge to give his shoulder a reassuring squeeze even though they were only connected through a communication device. "Listen…you were right about North Korea. Wo Fat captured me that day. Jenna Kaye, a woman who I trusted, was in league with him to exchange her fiancé for me. I was tortured, Cath."Steve then gave a hollow laugh. "I still don't know how I survived. He kept asking me about Shelburne. He was convinced that I knew who Shelburne was. Then Jenna was dead. She was shot. Before she died, she handed me the key to unlock my chains. I tried to escape, but I was captured by Wo Fat and his men. Joe, Danny, and SEAL team nine saved me. Believe me, Cat, I wanted to tell you. I wanted to. But then I thought about Jenna's ghost, and of how she died because of my family vendetta against Wo Fat. I couldn't let that happen to you. _

_ "Joe was avoiding my questions about Shelburne. He told me that Shelburne was a person, and eventually lied to me, and told me that Shelburne was an alias to protect my sister and I during my father's investigation with the Yakuza. He told me that he was Shelburne. I later found out the truth that he was lying to me. I booked a flight to Japan…and I left without telling anyone where I was going. I caught Wo Fat weeks later. I still remember what he told me. "'Perhaps. Perhaps not.'" He's still dangerous, Cat. He can still order executions. He ordered my father executed when I thought he was murdered by Victor Hesse!"_

_ "What about your mother?" Catherine's voice was reduced to a whisper. Steve's revelations still revolved around in her head. As always, he was overprotective, especially around his loved ones. She had a sudden thought that perhaps she was considered in that category. "Steve?" she asked. There was no response on the other end. He was eerily quiet, and didn't pace as he usually did. "Steve?"_

_ "My mother is Shelburne." Steve chocked. His voice was raw with agony and shock shaped his voice. "I thought she died in a car accident when I was fifteen. Then twenty years later, I found out that she died from a car bomb that was originally for my father. I don't…" Catherine heard Steve grit his teeth. "…Understand. My father kept us safe by keeping a secret and lying to Mary and I. Our mother was alive; she didn't die from a car bomb. Joe did the same thing. Now I have the truth that I wanted. My mother had killed Wo Fat's father, and faked her own death. Her death was devastating to me, only to find out that it wasn't true. For twenty years I lived a lie. She said that she hid to protect me. But how is that protecting me?" It took a moment for Catherine to realize that Steve was crying. Sobs shook his voice at his last words, and she calmly waited for his sobs to subside._

_ "I thought the same thing, Steve. I didn't understand why you weren't telling me the truth. Was the trust we built over the eight years of your friendship and relationship gone? I didn't know what to think. I only felt anger and pain with the thought that you didn't trust me enough with your secrets. You felt the same with Joe and your father, Steve. But what you don't realize is that each of you were trying to protect one another from the pain and truth. All of you feel different about it. That's why you feel different about your hidden truth with me, compared with your mother's secrets." Catherine's calming voice had an effect on Steve. His breathing slowed, and his sobs quieted. _

_ "Catherine…I'm sorry." His voice was still hollow, and she hadn't heard him sound like that before, except when his father had died almost two years ago._

_ "It's alright, Steve," she soothed. "I'm here."_

She repeated the words to herself out loud this time. "It's alright, Steve. I'm here." Catherine slowly walked over to the lone figure lying in the chair outside near the beach. Steve was sleeping, his breathing deep and calm. His long eyelashes fluttered, and she felt his warm hands around her own. He was home, he was safe, in Hawaii. Catherine remembered the words that he had spoken to her before she had to disconnect.

_"I know that I've made mistakes in the past and this in one of them, but I promise I'll make it up to you. I won't lie to you anymore, Cath. I can't promise you what will come our way…but you are my _ohana_…like everyone that I know. I won't lie or hide the truth form you anymore. I promise." _


End file.
